” Everyone has their baggage, their demons and their pasts, but its how you decide to fight them, forget them, or live with them that helps define who you are a person.” God give me strength.
Sometimes we forget that family is about trust, consideration, honesty and love. When you have a family or are part of one…. you are no longer a lone entity. What you do affects others whether you think it does or not. If you spend too much time at work, you may be neglecting your kids, or your wife. If you spend your time partying with friends and are too busy socializing, you are neglecting your parents, or your younger siblings. If you spend too much time with one parent, you may be neglecting the relationship with the other. You kinda get my point….
The thing is, we can never make someone 100% happy, because there is only so much of you to go around. But the thing is you should at least TRY to spend time with the people that will be a part of your life forever….. no matter what may come your way. If your grandparents, parents or siblings live far away, make sure to call them and check in. Stay in touch with each others lives and share your news. But do it in all aspects of your life. Don’t simply call when something is wrong, or you are having a bad day to vent. Share that you met someone new or that work is going really well, or that you miss them. If you only call when there is bad news or something bothering you, you become the bearer of bad news and the person who always brings everyone down. No one wants to be that person.
All families argue… that’s normal. Think about when you were a teenager and thought you were invisible and your parents had no clue. Now fast forward 10- 12 years. You see things a little differently don’t you? You begin to see that your parents had good intentions and they were only trying to protect you. They may have not been right about everything… but they were right about alot of things. And if they happened to be wrong? Well then, the parent learned from that experience and hopefully grew from it as a person.
Now as adults, we do the same for our parents. We sometimes try to protect them from themselves and the dangers they may not see in front of them…. and what do they do??? They react like the ungrateful teenager you used to be. Funny how the tables turn sometimes. When families fight and emotions are flaring, the brain does not fully process the entire situation simply because your heart and your emotions are clouding your judgment and not allowing you to see the WHOLE situation. At the time of an argument, you only see YOUR point of view. It takes time to step away and see all aspects to realize a true logistical solution to your problem.
People will argue and disagree…. that’s just part of who we are. We are all built differently, with different emotional and physical builds. We all react to situations differently, we all have have our opinions. Its not until you put yourself in the other person’s shoes that you will realize whether you were right or wrong…. or both were wrong. That’s the beauty and torture of family….. you are all different people.
I leave you with these quotes to put things in perspective:
Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts. ~Author Unknown
The thing about family disasters is that you never have to wait long before the next one puts the previous one into perspective. ~Robert Brault
When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them. ~George Bernard Shaw
Family quarrels are bitter things. They don’t go by any rules. They’re not like aches or wounds; they’re more like splits in the skin that won’t heal because there’s not enough material. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald
Family is just accident…. They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are. ~Marsha Norman
If the family were a fruit, it would be an orange, a circle of sections, held together but separable – each segment distinct. ~Letty Cottin Pogrebin
and last but not least:
You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them. ~Desmond Tutu